Chris Evans loses battle to Elephantiasis aged 92



Chris Evans - 2007

Christopher James "Chris" Evans was taken into the Priory hospice in London last Friday and died earlier this afternoon. The 92 year old presenter and media mogul spent the majority of his life entertaining a small fan base and promoting the Ginger Rights Movement (GRM).

Evans was diagnosed with Elephantiasis at birth when it was a relatively unknown disease. His condition flared up at several points in his life which often led to depression and alcoholism. Keen to raise awareness of Elephantiasis, Evans spent his latter years running a single manufacturer (Ferrari) circuit racing league whereby drivers would be dressed as Babar. Throughout his career, he remained an icon for suffers of the disease.



Chris Evans when he was almost popular

Evans began his professional broadcasting career at Manchester Piccadilly Radio in 1947 as an assistant to Timmy Mallett, playing a character on his show called 'Gingerbread'. Listeners enjoyed his down to earth demeanour and saw it as a welcome reprieve from Mallet who was battling with a cocaine addiction at the time. Evans quickly became a radio favourite and gave up his job working as a disc jockey in the local music halls to pursue a media career. Several years later the decision was to prove highly successful as Evans launched his TV series 'Don't forget your Toothbrush'. With television as his national soapbox, Evans campaigned and subsequently passed the Ginger right to vote. This was his highest accolade at the time and the United Kingdom knew Chris was at the top of his game. Unfortunately this run of good luck was not to last.

Chris Evans shortly after admitting
Cocaine abuse in 1978

After the demise of the Toothbrush series, Evans started showing early signs of acute depression. In an attempt to rid himself of this trauma he partnered a young bint by promising to buy her a Ferrari. Sadly, Evans free-falled into cocaine abuse, alcoholism and excess. In a 1997 interview he described this period as "the time of his life". Evans was insolvent, divorced and out of touch with his fanbase. Terry Wogan took pity on the Ginger chuckle brother and gave him a prime time Radio 2 slot as a two fingered salute to the management at the BBC. This was the break Evans needed to get his career back on track.

In more recent years, Evans gracefully faded from the public eye to focus on raising awareness of Elephantiasis and painting his Ferrari's white. The latter caused much distress to motoring fans when a bemused Evans procured one of the highly sought after Ferrari 250 GTO's for a reported £12m and repainted it in Ford Diamond White metallic. Nonetheless, Evans remained an iconic ginger star for multiple generations. Plans for his funeral are yet to be drawn up but expect nothing less than a full on rave as a fitting memorial for Chris.